The Beginning, Beginning… (part 2)
To provide the proper context, I should mention that I am by most accounts an introvert, or more inwardly directed. For example, I have no problem going to a movie theater alone (which my wife thinks is crazy), or working alone for long periods of time. Thus, for me to be venturing into performing arts was a stretch to some degree. On the other hand, I did not consider myself as a shy person either. Public speaking, for example, did not intimidate me, so I guess I fell somewhere in the middle. Nevertheless, I soon worked up enough courage to let a friend of mine, who was a producer, hear the song that I wrote. He told me that he liked what I wrote (I think he was lying, haha) and encouraged me to keep writing, so I took his advice. More surprisingly, he invited me to attend regular sessions at his studio.
Astonishingly, I was offered an opportunity to be a member of a rap group. Then writing turned into recording, and eventually live performances. I remember thinking during one of my first solo performances, “This is crazy! I don’t do this!” as a room full of my friends anxiously awaited to hear me rap. “What is he going to say?” “What is it going to sound like?” I felt like I could hear the thoughts in their heads. However, once the beat dropped, I did it and couldn’t take it back! I was now a part of an official local rap act.
As I reflect on that moment, two things come to mind. First, when I was reciting raps at 9 I had no fear or regard for what others would think. Now at age 21, why was the fear of what people might say such an obstacle at first? I realized that I had become more inward as I came to find out that this world can be a cold place. Negativity, betrayal, and disloyalty from peers had caused me to be a bit more observing and less trusting of people. Most importantly, negative experiences caused me to lose part of the fearless attitude I once had. Performing, for me, was in some ways rediscovering myself.
Second, communicating through rap made sense to me. Before, I had been somewhat turned off by the portrayals of what rap and rappers were all about. Like uncovering buried treasure, I now realized that I had been given a gift and it was through God’s timing that it was buried and discovered at the right time — after my identity had been found in Christ. Truthfully, if I had been rapping in middle/high school, I could have easily mimicked the nonsense that has contaminated much of our culture.
Tell us your story
Have you ever been gripped by fear when you felt you were supposed to do something? What were you afraid of? How did you overcome your fears? Let us know at facebook.com/coreywaynemusic
The next blog drop next week. Stay tuned. Connect with me at:
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